Notice yourself
Check your breathing, expression, posture, and speed.
Clinical Perspectives
A Steady Presence
How your tone and pace can support the next step.
A person's presence can either add to an intense moment or help lower its load. You cannot make someone calm on command, but you can control your voice, pace, posture, and the number of demands you place on them.
Four moves to try
Signal safety
Be predictable, respectful, and attentive to personal space.
Make the step smaller
Use fewer words and one achievable request.
Hold steady
Keep the limit clear; revisit reasoning and repair when possible.
How it might sound
Younger child
A child becomes loud at cleanup. Speak softly, offer one choice, and allow time to begin.
Teenager
A teen asks for space. Agree on a reasonable return time rather than following with more questions.
Coach the caregiver
Explain the one cue you changed and invite the caregiver to try it in a low-stress moment.
Try it this week
Choose one cue you control - voice, pace, posture, or number of words - and deliberately change it.
Reflection
What does my body communicate before I say anything?
Safety and practice: Maintain professional boundaries and leave unsafe situations. A steady presence is not a substitute for a safety plan.
Download the one-page takeaway (PDF)